Selling my gear on Craigslist: A tale of ghouls, ghosts, and goblins

My 360. In a box. On its side, crying.

People are awesome.

I’m moving to a new condo soon, about which I am very excited. Save your congratulations for a moment and read ahead a tale of Internet monsters, trolls, and half-human beings who suck at the teat of our not-so-free time and make life an exercise in frustration, fear, and facepalms.

As I have been sorting through my stuff, it’s become clear that I should get rid of a small load of old-but-useful gear: A PowerBook G4, an Xbox 360, a universal remote, and a few other random gadgets. “Put the stuff on Craigslist” was the mantra a few years ago when I last moved several years ago when the world was a better place, so I snapped some pictures with my iPhone and put the ads up. At reasonable prices. With full descriptions. With pictures. And prices.

What follows are actual accounts of my non-transactions. These items have been on Craigslist for about 30 hours. Nothing has sold, but I’ve learned a lot about people I don’t know.

My Ad:

PowerBook G4 15″
PowerBook 5,4 model, the newer aluminum one
1.33 GHz, 1.25GB RAM, 60GB HDD

In excellent condition, no dents or dings, with original box, receipts, and manuals. Battery holds charge, but not sure how long. Installed with OSX 10.5 and iWork.

Pretty clear, I thought.

Here’s one respondent:

Him: Would u sell me the screen? Text [number omitted]

Me: You can have the whole thing for 200 and do whatever you want with the screen. [I didn't text him]

Him: Yea I really don’t need the whole thing just the screen u maybe able to sell it faster + more money if you sell in parts

Thanks for the advice, dude! You wanna come over and rip apart this fully-functional PowerBook just for the screen, for, what? 20 bucks? Rad.

Here’s another one (I received no fewer than four of the same ilk):

Him: offering 125.00 [Yes, that's the whole email]

Me: Might meet you halfway at 150 if you are nearby. [Thinking "screw it - if he's nearby, just get it off my hands."]

Him: Im in Westchester, I would come and get it, all I have is 125 tho. thanks

So… he only has $125 for a fully-functional laptop that’s already priced well and he lives an hour away, would burn about $10 in gas and would probably still haggle me down.

I’m also selling an Xbox 360. It works perfectly, I still have the original box and manuals, and I’m selling it for $125, which I figured was reasonable.

Here’s the ad:

Xbox 360
20GB HDD
Wireless Controller, Power Brick, Headset, HD Cables, manual

With original box. Works fine.

Pretty straightforward, right? A game console. In the box. For a price. Buy it, fucker.

Oh look, here’s a response from a potential buyer:

Him: Call tx @ [Number omitted]

Me: [So I call him. What the heck, right? Maybe he's mobile and ready to go. I get his voicemail. His voicemail box is full. Popular dude. So I email him.] Hey, tried to call – your inbox is full.

Him: [He texts me. All spelling and punctuation intact.] Hey uhave an xbox?

Me: Yes.

Him: What’s ur package/offer

Me: [Sigh. This is all in the ad, but whatevs, let's humor the poor sod.] 360 original box $125

Him: Thaast it?

Me: Yes. With the controller, 20GB HDD, original box, manual, and headset, of course.

Him: White or black?

Me: White.

Him: I have $100 right now. $75 for console and headset not controller.

Kill me now.